Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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