i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
