I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
no, he came in my armpit
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
