I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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