I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
