What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
