these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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