1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
