East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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