Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
