I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Pooping to opera.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
