then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
