Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he puts the penis in happiness.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
