I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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