having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
