how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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