I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
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