They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
well most of my day revolves around power hour
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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