You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
