Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
whose ass print is on the piano?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
