She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
