I like my sex mixed with concussions.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
