Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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