i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
