Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
