they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Alive.
So much puke
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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