I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
