i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
