I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
