Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
