Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
