Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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