GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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