Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
