there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
