saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
