Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize