Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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