We won't sleep together?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
