I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
