i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
