i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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