your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Verdict: uncircumcised.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
