I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
