The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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