Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
