And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
