only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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