woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
