I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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