So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
