The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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