you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
