Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
