Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
