white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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