What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
