I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
