Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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