I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
